Start: Thu 15/02/2007 08:49
End: Thu 15/02/2007 01:49
Duration: 5 hours








AIR JAMAICA FLIGHT "4520

December 23, 2006
@ 4:00am

Alarm goes off, "suck teeth",I am deeply vexed because I have to get up so fucking early, but glad simply because this was my first trip back home to Jamaica since leaving over a decade ago, "bumbo, ten years!, me blink and baps it gone". Woiii! Bashment

Barrell already packed and sent off, over two weeks ago, I am sooo excited, my glad bag is about to burst. I have 10 am flight from Heathrow to Jamaica.

4:15am

Just introduced my clock to the wall, its only crime "snooze", got up brush my teeth and carefully apply my diamonte` to my off white teeth, rahtid..crashment!, Move out the way "Freddy", here comes Miss World 19Never otherwise known as Cherie Banton formerly of Manchester, Jamaica now residing in the U.K.

Time for a bath.........What the f~*k?...........SNOW!, jah know brethren me nah bother bathe, besides I had one about 12:01ish, this morning. This is the main reason I am going to mi yaard, otherwise from the fact that I actually miss all of my disfunctional family, even the two little mongrel dawgs Felix and Rex,and NO! they are not four legged creatures, thery are my brothers, you know ..human beings, don't know why my mom gave my bothers dog names."lil bi@tches" hah hah I am so funny its unreal.

4:30am

Proceed to put on my "Bashment clothes", and apply my "war paint" otherwise known as makeup. The rigourous routine takes about an hour, however because of the time constraint this process will have to take only half an hour, oh the pressure us women are put under to look good, damn! Its hard wor, we should be paid to do it.

5:00am

I give myself a once over in the mirror thinking..Damn girl, u look sooo fiiine in them jeans,I also go over an imaginary checklist in my head to make I have not forgotten anything.

Passport.........check
Travel docs.........check
Nogzema........naw am jus messin
Kids........check, what am I thinking, I've got no kids.



5:05am

Self titled unreliable taxi Service has arrived.....Raas it look like this man nuh out fi come out and give me a hand, so I walk up and tap on his car window and in my sweetest non threatening voice say"I know you must be very busy sitting there doing nothing, but could you drag yourself away for a minute to help me with my luggage, thanks you are soooo kind",NOT!

Flipping coolie babuuu, the idiot is smiling he thinks it's a compliment, seriously these taxi drivers need to learn how to speak English.

Mind you, my luggage could clothes a small third world country.

7:15am

"My backside a hurt me", that two hour journey just flatten my ass, I am going to have to mould the numbness out my ass in the toilet in a bit, oh whats the point its just going to get worse on the 5 raas hours flight home, its a lucky thing us ladies of colour "got back".

So here I am sitting in the departure lounge, staring at blank faces and wondering what lies beneath each facade, for instance, that little old black man sitting opposite me looks like he is going home to retire and collect his much deserved pension, relax and spend some time with the grandchilren he has never actually met.

Does anyone ever wonder why people in the departure lounge never really speak to one another, they just sit there and give you side way glances, every now and then you hear the odd cough or sneeze and someone spoilt brat consistently kicking the back of a chair.

The well to do couple next to me are leafing through a copy of today's newspaper, with their noses stuck up in the air, you can practically see aristorat written all over them. Well if you could'nt tell by looking there were the solid gold watches, they had matching gold chains about half dozen rings between them and a very hing end lap-top perched in their laps.

Don't they know thieves will cut off their fingers to get those jewelery I wonder if I should say something.....naw too damn Boasty. The departure lounge was packed with about 200 passengers of various ethnic minorty and caucasion mixture. This should be an interesting flight.

10.00am

Everyone now ob board and wainting for take off.....finally!.

...............to be continued.




This story is purely fictitious, any similarities to any persons living or dead is purley coincidental.

this story is a work in progress, so any suggestions, or ideas on the contents are welcome by all.